Ride Report - Wilson HTM Brisbane to Gold Coast Challenge

[Dougie]

Can I tell you? At a quarter to five on a cool, Queensland morning one tends to “shrink” from confrontation. I overheard to girls chatting on the Train Platform at Nerang Railway Station on my way to the start of the annual Bicycle Queensland Wilson HTM Brisbane to Gold Coast Challenge last Sunday morning.

Lycra Lass one “Do you think that’s Cavendish?” Lycra Lass two “Sprinter?” LL1 “No, Banana.” LL2 “I was thinking, The Manx Missile?” LL1 “Nah, I am thinking Lady Finger” LL2 “They aren’t pleased to see us are they?” At that point I adjusted my Powerbar and moved away as inconspicuously as I could.

Queensland Rail put on two special trains from the Gold Coast to Southbank to carry the Banana Benders to the start of the ride in Brisbane. The first train was for the 30Kph fasties so they could start the ride at 5.15am. I took the second train at 5am with a start time of 6am to start with my team mates and ride in the 25-30Kph bunch. I rode with the Holiday Inn Team. They where suitably dressed in a “snot” green jersey whereas I looked fabulous, replete in my DHBC kit. I yearned for the squeal of “Dulwich Hill Spotted!” from the crowd, however clearly, unlike the Cane Toad we are not quite as well known over the border.

I did this ride in 2009 and the organisation is very, very good. About 8,000 riders take part. The bunches are broken up into average speed categories with different approaches and marshalling points. The first 12K is on the Busway. The segregated Busway is closed for the morning and gives a car free (strangely on a bus only piece of infrastructure!) stretch of road. I didn’t notice any buses either but then that could be simply that the public transport is just as good as Sydney’s.

The first prang I came across was at about the 4K mark. Having only just summoned up the courage to get back on the bike after my tumble I was pretty alert. There were people everywhere. I guess wheels touched and that was that. I suppose that at rides like this and the Gongride all kinds come out to play. It is congested and people urge. “Suddenly” is the norm rather than the exception. Swerving and taking as many with you as possible was taken to new heights. This was especially the case at traffic lights involving uphill starts. Push off, clip in, fall down, STRIKE! I could almost hear the bowling ball noise.

It was a flat, fast profile for the first 30 plus Kilometres. To my surprise I appeared to be one of the faster riders in the team. Five of us quickly dropped the other 15 or so of the group and started swapping off keeping the pace high in the upper 30’s. By the end of the Busway at 12K on a small rise at Klumpp Rd we had dropped two more. I hung on for grim death to the other two until we hit a few rolling hills at 32K. The two boys were at least 15 years younger and 10 Kgs lighter than me. It’s my excuse and I am sticking with it!

I shot through the first rest stop. I was making good time and I also needed to get to my conference which was the whole reason I was on the Gold Coast anyway. I was pretty sure I could slip in at morning tea and no one would notice I hadn’t been there for the opening address and key note speaker.

The profile was lumpy and bumpy with twisty and turny parts from 32K to 70K. At 72K I saw my life flash before my bloodshot, sweat filled, squinty little eyes. I was at the back of a line of five riders taking a breather. I was maintaining good separation when the chap in front of me decided to test the theory of relativity. If you get two wheels spinning within the same planetary orbit and smash them together you do indeed have the “big bang”. I tell you this bloke didn’t even have time to shout “Einstein” before he split the Atmos, there were so many particles he could call himself the Kedron Collider (Kedron is a suburb of Brisbane……. Hello? Is this thing on?). I must have been right at the very edge of the event horizon because for a moment there as he hung in the air with his head down and kinks covered bum in the air. All I could see was a giant black hole!

At the 70K mark just before Coomera it all flattened out again and became fast. I picked up a sprint train heading south and clung on for all I was worth. The bib numbering system was done in such a way as to show red bibs in the 30kph plus bunch the orange in the 25-30kph bunch etc. I was rather pleased at this point to see I was dropping some red bibs. I was sucking down water and hovering up my gels like no tomorrow. With 10k to go I was out of both and wanting it all over now please. I kept screaming into my radio for the team car to come up and why wasn’t there a domestique available to bury himself for me when I needed one. It took me awhile to realise that the button I was pushing was in fact a chaffed nipple and that there really was nobody out there. Dehydration is so cruel. Apart from that, the last thirty kilometres were smooth, bike laned, wide roads. It was certainly getting hot and a notion of a cold beer was getting some traction in my shrivelled brain.

With a couple of k’s to go, I called the family at some stop lights and informed them of my impending arrival and to please have the podium girls ready. I proudly took the final two hundred out of the saddle passing contenders left and right with my little legs spinning and the Gatorskins clawing for traction. OK, OK! But I stood up alright and took the salute given by a hopelessly devoted five year old, the wave a somewhat bored eight year old and the benign, Mona Lisa like smile of the Bride. I then ate three apples and drank 1.8L of water and was whisked off to the conference.

Stats 100K in 3.12hrs average of 31.25kpm.
320Kms riding in the seven days of holiday.

Cheers and see you on the road
Dougie